Divorce

The dreaded D word.  Some of you know I got married last June, we split up in November then were officially divorced in April.  That marriage was the worst decision of my life and the divorce was the best.

We all do crazy, fly by the seat of our pants things right?  Well until then I never had.  I am a planner by nature.  I always hesitated when it came to things, questioned everything, made pros and cons lists, etc...  This should have told me that doing something that was completely opposite of who I am is a bad, bad idea.

I met him in April of last year, yes April.  He was the Uncle of one of Marcus' friends.  We had both just been through a break up.  He asked for my number and we ended up talking on the phone every night for 5 or 6 hours.  We really got to know each other or so I thought. 

He wanted all the same things as me. He had 2 teenage girls so we wanted to make sure that everything was right between his girls and Marcus.  Everyone got along and everything was great.  He was a hard worker, treated me great, took care of his girls and treated Marcus great.  He promised that if he had to he would work 3 jobs to make sure we got the bills paid.  You get the idea.

We got married In June but didn't actually live together until August.  Between June and August things were wonderful.  We enjoyed each other and the kids.  We were so excited to all move in together.

About 3 weeks into moving in together was my birthday.  I ended up crying the whole day, he made my day miserable.  He was super jealous of my ex boyfriend (McKennon's Dad).  Him and I were friends and I had told my husband that and he was ok with it.  Turns out he wasn't.  I wasn't willing to give up that friendship because of how much we had been through together.  A man that was secure with himself should have understood that. Anyway my ex had texted me with Happy Birthday and I said Thank you and that was all it took to make him ruin my day.

It just got worse from there.  He turned extremely controlling.  He would freak out on me for things like falling asleep on the couch, which I do almost nightly.  We couldn't have a productive argument because he would lock me in a room with him for hours until I finally just told him whatever he wanted to hear.  Torture was what that was.  I went to a baseball game with some friends of mine and he freaked out.  From the beginning I told him I needed to be able to be myself and have friend time.  He didn't like that.

My final straw was when he actually called me ex to yell at him and tell him to leave me alone.  My ex hadn't called or texted in months.  When he got off the phone with him he told me that I needed to get over my son in order to get over my ex.  That broke my heart.  There is no getting over my son and I couldn't be married to someone so heartless.

I tried to make it work until I was blue.  I stopped one day and realized I was paying all the bills.  ALL of them.  There were 6 people living in my house.  He wasn't paying anything even though he had promised.  I was miserable.  I would go for drives after work just so I didn't have to go home and it wasn't until I saw how horrible he was treating Marcus that I couldn't take it anymore.

I finally told him I was done at the beginning of November and he would not leave, WOULD NOT.  I finally had to kick him out at the beginning of December.  So for a whole month I had to live with this crazy person. 

Lesson learned.  Never do anything opposite of who you are and never allow someone to take away who you are.

I wanted my first marriage to be my only marriage but I'm thankful I made that mistake because now I can really appreciate someone else.

My boyfriend and I have decided we are going to get married...someday.  Not any time soon.  We are enjoying what we have and aren't in any hurry.  I'm not sure that relationship would have happened if not for me getting married and then divorced.  Everything happens for a reason and now life is good:)